It is estimated that the wedding industry in the UK is worth £10 billion, with the average cost of a wedding being £36,000.
A lot of time is spent on working hard, saving and planning for the wedding and not a lot of time is given to planning a marriage. Lets put things into perspective, a wedding is an event, marriage is for a life time. The size of the wedding (number of guests, the dress, budget, the bells and whistles ) does not determine the success or failure of the marriage. Just as you plan every detail for your wedding, a lot of time should be invested into planning the marriage instead of making it up as you go along after saying I do. Do you know how to handle conflict, do you understand his or her love language, how will you manage finance, will you have children and who will be primary carer of the kids etc. These are some of the many questions that one should know before saying I do. Pre marital counselling will arm you with the tools to navigate through marriage. Marriage counselling should be a pro active approach rather than reactive because things have gone wrong.
There is no denying that money will be a huge factor when planning a wedding, but let it be what you can afford. Think beyond the wedding, will we have money in our bank account to pay our mortgage/rent, groceries and pay our bills. How embarrassing and humiliating would it be if you have to borrow money from friends and family to meet these expenses.
After the wedding or honey moon, you don’t want finances to be an anti climax as newly weds. Instead of spending time together, you now spend more time apart as you put in the extra hours so you can pay back that loan. Or you splurged on your wedding and upon reflection you have spending remorse thinking all that money for one day would have been better spent else where.
Think of the following:
If you are getting a loan to pay for your wedding, please reconsider, I strongly suggest you don’t. The very thought should lead you back to the drawing board and budget for a wedding you can afford.
If you are trying to out do your friend, family member or colleague’s wedding or keep up with the Joneses, why? What’s the point, what are you trying to prove? check your pride and ego.
If you are working all day and night to raise money for the wedding and its putting your health at risk, is it worth it?
If your significant other is giving you ultimatums unless certain demands are met, the wedding will not go ahead that’s an insight into your married life do you want to go ahead with the wedding?
I don’t say this lightly but if you get cold feet a long they way, say something as soon as don’t wait on the wedding day. Nobody is forcing you to put a ring on it. Don’t worry what people will think.
Be realistic about any financial decisions, don’t make assumptions. If your wedding venue is costing £3,000 and you can only afford £1,000 don’t go ahead and book it saying it will work out we’ll find money somewhere. If your assumptions don’t materialise then what?
Finances cause conflict in marriage and leading cause of divorce, make wise choices, money is not everything.